“What do you intend for me to do here? ... Let me be an example of change for these people. But how?”
By Mitchel Tadle
Mothers of the village.
Another time, I observed a husband mounting a heavy bundle of abaca hemp (about 35 kilos or 77 lbs.) on the back of his wife, to be brought to town—a hike of about eight hours. He would follow along with just his spear on his shoulder. Fathers take care of their children at home while the mothers, with their bolos and baskets, go to their farms to plant and gather food. In the afternoon the usual scene is to see mothers struggling home, stooped over with heavy loads of food ready for the night's feast. In the morning, they will have to hunt again for their breakfast.
It is a disgrace or a shameful act for a man to help a woman with her work. An even bigger problem would be if a man helps a woman who is not his wife. The worst thing of all is that when a woman labors to deliver her baby, she is not allowed to cry, wail or shout. She has to keep her mouth shut because they believe that crying out would cause some evil problem in the family and the village. That is the reason why we never hear any moans or struggle of labor from women giving birth. And to add pain to injury, most often a mother goes out with her basket or water container to fetch water right after giving birth.
| I struggled with this situation in my village. “Lord,” I cried. "What do you intend for me to do here? I can't stand this. Let me be an example of change for these people. But how? I am a lady and if I work hard, it's just normal for them to see ladies work. What good will that do?" |  Village warriors. |
Once the chainsaw operator and a carpenter were planning to come to our village to build a church. The carpenter was a Manobo himself but had adopted a lowlander's life. His wife is a lowlander. The operator was a good father and gentleman and a hard worker. My partner and I talked with the visiting builders about the need to show a good example to the villagers and teach them that the role of the men is to do heavy work and that the ladies should be the helpers.
It worked!
As the carpenter and chainsaw operator worked we cooked for them and brought
food to their work place. After the day's work, these two men would get
our big water containers and fill them with water and carry them to our
cottage. Many times with the use of an axe the carpenters would chop wood
for our kitchen.
On some
occasions the two men would come along with us and our school children
to gather sweet potatoes and they would be the ones who would carry the
heavy baskets to our cottage while the ladies just carried a few leaves
in their small baskets. We did this just as normally as they would leave
their ladies to do their own work. But, I was glad to see one day, that
Anggam (uncle), our neighbor who used to be just a baby sitter, carried
the heavy load for his wife. He was smiling at me when he put down his
basket. "Very good of you Anggam!" I cheered. I'm happy to see
you helping your wife." His wife gave me a sweet smile, too.
Soon
the chief himself did the same for his wife. I saw him bring water in
a container for his wife to use in her cooking. "That's very good
of you chief! Congratulations!"
He smiled back and said. "I'm happy to be of help to my wife." Today, it is already a common practice that husband and wife, boys and girls, help each other in their chores and especially in joining hands together to finish the big jungle chapel in their village.
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