Building Redemptive Relationships
 
Because a missionary or a witness is what we are, rather than what we do, it becomes a twenty four-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week activity. We are witnessing by the way we dress, by our activities, by our values, and by our priorities. The question of a "target audience," a specific group of people with whom you wish to share Jesus, is almost beside the point. Your "target audience" is everybody around you, particularly those your life touches in normal activity. In this chapter you will begin to identify natural avenues for discipling and natural environments in which to witness.
 
Think about it

People around you are aware, at least subconsciously, of your values and thus, your loyalties. Stop and reflect on the past 24 hours: What does your clothing, right now, say about your values and self-image? Has your behavior today been seen as patient, kind and considerate? What parts of your behavior have been seen as impatient, inconsiderate and unkind? How have your priorities, today, valued others more than yourself?

Discipling

You may need to add a new term to your vocabulary, one that your spell-checker will not recognize: "discipling." Discipling means witnessing to others so they become new Christians or new disciples of Jesus. It involves the entire process from spiritual conception to new birth, and on to becoming a fully mature, self-reproducing Christian. This work does not belong to the pastor, it is your responsibility. Remember, it is not the shepherds who produce new sheep. Sheep make new sheep. Just so, it is not pastors who make new disciples. It is disciples who make new disciples. There are very good reasons for this:

  1. You are the one who got to know the person who is becoming a Christian in the first place.
  2. You are the one who has introduced the new disciple to Jesus.
  3. You are the one the new Christian knows and trusts.
  4. You are the most believable example of genuine Christianity the new disciple knows.
  5. It is the most natural for the new Christian to learn the faith by observing and copying you.
  6. This obviously will keep you on your toes as a growing Christian.

Exercise:

On this page you see a group of boxes labeled by the areas of your normal life, boxes in which you generally live and work. This is your personal "network", and, as you will see, evangelism or Christian witness operates best as "network" evangelism.

Within each box write the names of people you meet and talk to at least 3 to 4 times a week. These are your primary contacts for Jesus. They are the people who know and trust you, who feel comfortable with you. These are people with whom natural channels of communication have been established. Some degree of relationship has already been established with these people. The issue now is to translate these into redemptive relationships.

Home and Family
Work
Associations
Neighbors & Friends

For many of us, especially longtime Christians, we may find that there are very few names in our boxes that are not already Christians. What can you do to enlarge the number of potentially redemptive relationships? The answer is twofold: be more friendly and make more friends.

How to Relate to Others

As you think about how you can become a more effective soul winner consider this statement about the master soulwinner.

Christ's method alone will give true success in reaching the people. The Savior mingled with men as one who desired their good. He showed His sympathy for them ministered to their needs and won their confidence. Then he bade them "Follow me."
Ellen G. White, Ministry of Healing, 143.

Here are some practical guidelines for relating to others. Begin practicing these today in all your contacts.

Develop good listening skills—Practice focusing on what people are saying to you, not on what you want to say in return or rebuttal. Listen attentively and ask for clarification.

Establish personal rapport—Work on face to face contact, close proximity with eye contact and even physical contact. Caution, eye contact may be viewed differently in some cultures.

Foster an attitude of encouragement—Make people feel good, affirm their good ideas and plans. Don't nag! As the song says, "accent the positive and de-emphasize the negative."

Make yourself interesting to others by being interested in them—Be aware of current events, books, films, and music. Develop hobbies that you can share with others. Ask others about themselves. Focus on them, what they do and why, their families, jobs, interests, and what makes life exciting to them. Get them to tell their "story."

Secrets of Effective Witnessing

Earn the right to be a witness by first being a genuine friend. Be natural. Don't attempt to be what you are not. The real you will come through anyway. Don't step in and out of a role.

Don't rush. Remember that there are two ways to get a chicken out of an egg: with a hammer or a little warmth and time. Stimulate interest that leads to questions, then answer them. Be obvious without being offensive. Be a deliberate Christian without making a "big deal" out of it.

Draw attention to the multi-culturalism of Christianity. It is originally an Asian faith with African connections.

Make your point without demanding agreement. People need time and space to reflect on life-changing paradigm shifts.

Jesus saw in every soul one to whom must be given the call to His kingdom. He reached the hearts of the people by going among them as one who desired their good. He sought them in the public streets, in private homes, on the boats, in the synagogue, by the shores of the lake, and at the marriage feast. He met them at their daily vocations and manifested an interest in their secular affairs.
Ellen G. White, Desire of Ages, 151.

 


Ideas for "Expanding the Boxes"

  • Take a class (or teach) at a local school or university.
  • Join a musical group.
  • Join and participate in professional organizations
  • Join and participate in service clubs (e.g. Rotary, Kiwanis, etc.). Many of them are international.
  • Attend neighborhood events. Often you do not need an invitation to attend weddings, funerals, baptisms, fiestas, work groups, or sporting events.
  • Places to meet people: cafés and coffee houses, tea houses, local markets, fairs and festivals, plazas and parks, book stores and stalls, flea markets, sporting events, recreation and game areas for soccer games, bird collectors, open-air chess, bocci-ball, etc, etc, etc.
  • Note: Be cautious about identifying with political groups or activities.
 
Remember the can of soup? The more we "open the can of soup," and eat it, the easier it is to share it. Think of the last time you discovered a great new restaurant or a fantastic recipe for pizza. Remember the last time you fell in love. Remember how easy it was to tell others about it?
 
Your Turn

1. We have talked about being a witness for Jesus. Who is your primary audience right now? How are you witnessing to them? List three steps you can take this week to add non-Christian contacts to your boxes.

2. Can you remember a time when you offended someone to whom you were witnessing? How would you do it better today?

3. Have you ever sensed that you were God's mouth, feet, or hands so that sharing Jesus simply flowed naturally? What happened? Why?