Our culture determines what feels normal, right and real to us, and what we take for granted. When asked why we sit on chairs instead of on the floor we may smile at the inquirer's "ignorance" and answer: "That's the way we live here." We assume that this is the way it ought to be! But other cultures have developed other ways to live that may seem strange to outsiders. These cultural differences open the way for cross-cultural misunderstandings, cultural pride and prejudice to develop.

In this chapter we will focus on ways to deal not only with our conscious difficulties to accepting another culture, but also with those cultural barriers that are rooted in our emotions, beliefs and worldview.

Case Study

An American girl cleaned the room while her Thai roommate was having breakfast in the dormitory dining hall. When the roommate returned, she became upset, cried, and left the room. Later it became clear that the American girl had placed the Thai girl's skirt on the pillow portion of the bed. In Thai culture, the head is sacred and putting a piece of clothing associated with a lesser part of the body on a place reserved for the head was one of the worst possible insults. Friends and advisors tried to explain to the Thai girl that the American girl's intentions were only good, but the involuntary reaction was so deep that she refused to room with the American girl again. (From Sikkema and Niyekawa, Design for Cross-Cultural Living, Yarmouth, Maine: Intercultural Press, 1987)

If you were the American roommate how would you feel at this moment? Have you ever been in a similar situation where you offended someone unintentionally? How did you deal with that situation? Describe some of your feelings and thoughts?

God has made human beings so creative that there is an almost infinite variety of patterns of human living. Each culture has developed its own set of characteristics that gives its society distinctiveness and unity. To learn to appreciate this diversity we must become bicultural. There are frequently some obstacles on the way to this goal .

Ethnocentrism

Most of us have grown up in a one-culture setting, hardly aware of the differences in habits and customs within our own culture. The way we do things at home or our group is normal to us. People who differ in accent and habits strike us as "strange." When we confront another culture, our normal emotional response is ethnocentric: we react to other people's "odd" customs through our own colored glasses. Curiously enough this reaction is a two-way street because they also have certain stereotypes of us.

Stereotypes may have their value as quick orientation points to facilitate understanding. But since nobody embodies all the characteristics of a particular list, they soon become barriers to understanding. Missionaries must learn to develop empathy and an appreciation of the host culture and its ways. This approach leads us to remember our common humanity before God.

Cultural Misunderstandings

Another barrier to communication is cultural misunderstanding. When we cross cultural boundaries—especially as tourists—we often assume that the symbols and behaviors we find in another culture mean the same as in our own culture. This is a common mistake. What we have to realize is that behaviors are linked to values, beliefs, and worldview assumptions that may differ dramatically from our own.

For example, in North America it is rather impolite to be more than a few minutes late. After letting your partner wait for more than five to ten minutes you better have some good excuses for being late. Being late thirty minutes is basically inexcusable and rude. But in certain Arab cultures only servants are "on time." Those of higher rank arrive some 30 minutes late after the servants have prepared everything for the meeting.

Values and Culture

In all we do we are guided by our values. However, individuals and cultures differ on what they value as most important. Moreover, as Christians we also listen to the Word of God. In order to understand cultural differences we need to distinguish between the different types of values we hold:

• Personal Values: These are things or values that reflect our personal preferences and include such things as cleanliness, security, health, and job satisfaction.
• Cultural Values: This category includes things that are top priorities in our dominant (home) culture. Individualism, material success, and independence are examples of top cultural values in North-America. Many two-thirds world cultures put more value on community, cultural heritage, and dependence.
• Biblical (Eternal) Values: Obviously, this is the most important area of values we live by. It includes mercy, justice, and love.

Be a Learner

So how can you avoid cultural blunders and embarrassments to your hosts? Here are a few tips to help you not to judge prematurely from your own cultural perspective as you are becoming a bicultural person.

Become a learner with a servant's heart—It is impossible to become a bicultural person without going through a period of learning. If you want to come close to people, you must approach the new culture as a learner and servant, not as a teacher who judges other ways before having learned to understand and appreciate them.

Plunge right in—The key to learning a new culture is the attitude we bring to the new situation. Experienced missionaries and anthropologists recommend that we plunge into culture learning right from the start! Venturing into the unknown can be frightening. But soon we see that the risk pays off. People respond with eagerness to help us in our often simple efforts to learn their ways.

Don't assume you know—Be aware of the difference between a passive and active understanding of culture. Many mistakenly consider themselves competent in communicating with "foreigners." They may have studied some of the literature, history or art of the host culture, met foreign representatives at school or professional meetings, or traveled to foreign countries. But this feeling is deceptive because it is based on the passive understanding of another culture which does not guarantee that a person will be able to interact effectively with persons of other cultures on their own home ground. To become an effective missionary, you need to develop an active understanding of culture.

Real Learning—Active understanding of a culture involves not only intellectual and rational, but also emotional aspects. We may accept something rationally, but reject it on an emotional level (like the girl in our case study). Active understanding often comes as we see the limitations of our own cultural background. This is one of the positive aspects of culture shock which we will deal with in the next chapter.

So What!?

The goal of becoming a bicultural person is to enable you to identify with your hosts and truly appreciate their culture on three levels.

Reasoning and Rational Thinking (Cognitive Level)—Remember each culture has found its own way of approaching life and its problems. Learn to acknowledge different perceptions of reality and different ways of doing something. There are other ways to build a house than the typical American air-conditioned wood structure. How disease is caused may be explained differently than the typical Western way. Some of these explanations may be rooted in folk sciences and religious beliefs. Some may be more adequate than others. But remember that you are not only dealing with a behavior, a way of doing things or a single belief but with a whole worldview.

Feelings and Tastes (Affective Level)—The fact is that many things are a matter of preference and taste, rather than right or wrong; e.g., how you like certain kinds and combinations of food.

Judging and Decision Making (Evaluative Level)—When you deal with another culture's norms and values, be cautious not to condemn what you cannot understand as an outsider. When evaluating aspects of culture or counseling fellow believers, differentiate between:

• Good and worthwhile aspects to be encouraged.
• Neutral aspects to be retained.
• Bad or evil aspects and practices which must be dealt with and changed.

In most cultures the good and neutral aspects by far outnumber the evil aspects. Thus cultures reflect God's great gift of creativity to humanity.

Rewards

What are the rewards of being a bicultural person? Here are three important considerations to keep in mind when you suffer through the process of becoming a bicultural person.

• Identification: As you strive to learn from other cultures you will be challenged to overcome your natural tendency towards ethnocentrism and become more effective in ministry to the people.
• Enrichment: Becoming aware of other creative approaches to life that are as valid as your own cultural ways will be enriching.
• Perspective: You will better understand your own worldview because you have a unique chance to compare and contrast it with others.

1. Take a look at the list of stereotypes North Americans hold of people of the majority world. Do you hold any of them? Do you think any of them are valid? Why? How might these stereotypes become stumbling blocks for effective cross-cultural ministry?

2. Take a look at the opposite list. Do any of these characteristics apply to you? How do you feel about the way you might be stereotyped by the people of your host culture?

3. As you move to your new ministry, what are some ways you could get involved in the new culture?

4. Think about yourself and your personal and cultural values. What are the top five in each category? How do your personal or cultural values reflect biblical values?